i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
40s are totally the cure
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
