dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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