True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
