I skipped work to stalk him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
