guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
