I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
