i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Panties = found
Randomize
