I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What drink are we having for lunch?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.