she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
