How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
