If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
