He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2