the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.