Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.

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(619): View more from California

There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.

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(253): View more from Washington

I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.

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(216): View more from Ohio

And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

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(435): View more from Utah

Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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(512): View more from Texas

He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.

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(585): View more from New York

I think I'm pregnant again.

(716): View more from New York

or as we call it, thursday.

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