Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
