He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
