I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
ugly people sure do ruin things
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
