In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
BRING THE BAGELS
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
