Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
