I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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