franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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