I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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