It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
