The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
