We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
