Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
