think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
