Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
