It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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