are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?