what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
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fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.