the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.