Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize