do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
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We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.