it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
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Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?