I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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