and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
