theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
