Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
