I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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