He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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