Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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