OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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