i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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