Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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