She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
