i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
