his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
