you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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