but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
