I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
