Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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