Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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