Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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