And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
