I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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