Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
