He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
