I want to make a zoo with you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize