Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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