We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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