I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
