If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My ATM looks so different sober.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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