I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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