that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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