Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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