I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Im part way to drunk.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
