my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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