i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
ugly people sure do ruin things
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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